External validation, a youth dilemma!

By far one of the most free-spirited souls of the Generation Democracy Vienna Summit, Suhaib Harb Ahmed Al-Shrosh Al-Maseedin, born in Jordan but currently residing in Romania, leads a radically opinionated life. For him, one is not obliged to live up to or conform to the standards and expectations of other people, but rather, to live each day and pursue each moment with a sense of confidence over the choices and standards one chooses to live by. While the tendency to conform and have our potential and actions validated by other people seems to be too common a trend across youths of all demographics, I learnt from Suhaib that change or being different is something the world will always struggle to accept, and that our choice to let other people’s standards be our limitation will always cost us an opportunity to tread on new grounds.

It starts back home; in our little spaces with friends and family; and it stretches to the strangers we meet and the colleagues who grow to fill a major part of our daily lifestyles. It could be a passionate debater who is constantly reminded by her obsessively academic parents that medicine is her fate; a politically curious young man born to a rich, entrepreneurial family where all the boys are raised to run family businesses and politics a branded taboo; or a highly principled church-girl raised behind strict bars of restrictions kept back from traveling the world and experiencing life with an open-mindedness that only exposure can afford- in all cases, the temptation to abandon what truly ignites our souls tends to overwhelm our willingness to defy our comfort zone!

Socially constructed norms or expectations limit the potential of young people to reach their full potential, and in most cases, to be truly happy about what they do. For Suhaib, self-contentment is heavily dependent on our submission to the inner voice, the intrinsic force that often distinguishes us as radical and rebellious towards a society that constantly wants to speak into who we can and cannot be. The liberation of our inner drive gives way to the unlimited possibilities that make us relevant to the call of change and because we all are born to fulfill a unique purpose, the tendency to let other people question and validate our convictions makes us less unique, and more like the socially constructed model of what youth can and cannot be. This dilemma has, for years, cost us a crop of innovative and creative youth ideas that are often left unexplored for fear of what people would say.

Consequently, we now exist in a society where even the political choices of young people are filtered and manipulated by 'so-called' mentors who have no interest whatsoever in grooming them but seek to use them to achieve their personal agendas. In most cases, the inevitable side-effect is an apathetic generation of young people who simply do not see value in their voice or contribution. They are made to believe that if a person in a high office hooks them up, then the morality shifts from what they need to compromise to make them happy to the seemingly good connections they end up with. This direction of grooming reduces the potential of these young people to one day exhibit transparency and accountability in their leadership positions and recreates the cycle of corrupt leaders who feel entitled to those who helped them get into power and vulnerable to their influence in validating whatever decision-making processes they engage in. It thus remains an evident reality that when external validation settles on a desperate young person aspiring for a position, it compromises the quality of their leadership and robs our communities of good leaders.

Looking at it from the perspective Suhaib’s mantra planted in me, I am now more convinced than ever, that succumbing to norms should never be an option. That we owe it to our generation to challenge the status quo, and be different, for while the society does not easily embrace a divergent mind, it is our duty to teach them how to handle it.

#UnitingYouth #NoVoteNoVoice